joy

when we were riding in the car last weekend, chad asked me what i was thinking about and i replied with, "joni kabana's blog post about photographing in developing nations."  in her post, she talks about how people in africa experience joy in life like americans never experience. "often people will break out in song and dance, expressing pure and unadulterated elation." i have often thought that, when viewing photos from developing nations, there is a happiness in the faces of people there that we don't experience in this country.  they have so few material possessions, but hearts that are full of happiness and joy.  it seems that here in america, it is the opposite.  we have more than we could ever ask for, and yet we still complain.

i also can't help but think about how disconnected we are in this country.  we're disconnected socially (we're so wrapped up in our blackberries and iphones, we've completely forgotten how to interact face-to-face), agriculturally (there aren't many foods that we eat that wasn't first put through a lab), and physically (it's not uncommon to hear about how someone bought the latest and greatest video game system or the new flat-screen tv with a sharper picture.  heck, we even have video games that supposedly help get us in shape.  god forbid we actually go outside and walk around.).

i can't help but think that with all of our gyms, our top-of-the-line healthcare systems, our fad diets, we still couldn't physically do what ethiopian men and women do every day just to live.  the physical strength they need to collect wood to build a fire so they can cook their food, or so that they can walk to collect water, or so that they can walk for days just to get to a hospital.  it's beyond what any of us in this country could ever imagine.

when i mentioned this to chad, he had some interesting insight.  he said that they put all of their effort in to just living... getting from day to day.  whereas americans (or the developed world in general) take our shelter, food, water, clothing, for granted.  it's just there, provided for us at the store, or out of the tap.  he said that americans are looking for something else to fill the time other than just living.  they're looking for the next level.

it's a valid point.  however, the more i think about it, the more that i realize that is exactly what i DON'T want to do:  fill the time with meaningless things (blackberries, video games, reality tv) instead of living.  i want to know what it feels like to experience "pure joy and unadulterated elation."    i want to seek joy.  so, how do i get to that "next level" without using technology to get me there?  how do i stay connected, socially, agriculturally, physically, spiritually? most importantly, what can i do to help people?

tell me, what do you do to seek joy in your life?  

why i love baz luhrmann

i don't even know where to begin tonight because i have a gazillion and one thoughts going on in my head right now.

the first thing i'll say is that our team in training workout tonight ROCKED! i remember experiencing a runner's high in high school cross country, but i forgot what it felt like. for the last 12 years, i've been an on-again-off-again runner, never quite having the motivation to stick to a schedule and run by myself. well, all that has changed with team in training. this week just feels downright amazing. i feel like rocky balboa -- fist pumps and all!! i can feel all of this sweat and hard work paying off. my body is getting stronger. i'm getting faster. i'm running further. and it. feels. darn. good!!

so, not only that, but i was listening to 94.7 in the car on the way home and they were playing songs from 1998, which brought me right back to manton high school. we had the verve, third eye blind, green day, barenaked ladies, the beastie boys, and -- one of my all time favorites -- baz luhrmann, everybody's free (to wear sunscreen). some of life's most amazing pieces of advice are in that song.

• Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….
• Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.
• Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
• one point that is especially true for me -- Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
  lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
• one my mom always taught me -- Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
  might run out.
• my favorite -- Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own...

seriously. amazing stuff. i'm not afraid to share that i literally had tears in my eyes listening to it. i don't know if it was because i was on such a high after my workout... or if it's because i'm getting older and realizing just how true all of these points are... or just simply feeling nostalgic for a time when i wasn't becoming so "adult."

but, truthfully, i think it was the point about being young and having so much possiblity before you. i think about where i thought i was heading in life when i graduated from college and compare it with where i have ended up. they are such different places, but that's ok. you know why? it's because i have a wonderful life. and you know what else? the possiblities are still endless. they will continue to be. we must all constantly grow and change and adapt. life is too short to let opportunities pass us by and it is too short to ever let our imaginations shut down.

with that, i should mention that i'm meeting with the director of global soul international (coincidentially named chad) next week to talk about volunteer opportunities. i'm excited to see what he has to say!!

10 random facts about me

1. i am obsessed with photography blogs. i love them. i read them every day and live vicariously through the photographers. i am saving up for a nikon d60 and in the meantime am pouring over photography books like understanding exposure and the adobe photoshop cs4 book for digital photographers. maybe one day i'll be able to take photos that are half as good as some of these folks: Esther Havens Photography, Gary Chapman Photography, Jasmine Star Photography, The Beautiful Mess (owned and operated by a guy i went to high school with and his uber-talented wife), and Love the Schultzes. there are many more photographers that i follow online, but these are some of my favorites.

2. i am obsessed with goals. i have fitness goals, financial goals, weekend goals (get "insert chore here" done). for example, i decided last fall that i was going to run a half marathon this year... well, i've done that, am doing the cascade lakes relay in a couple of weeks, and the portland marathon in october. my half marathon turned into a running trifecta... and that's just the way i like it.

3. my dog is my child. i love her like i imagine i will love my future human children. i worry for her safety, i spoil her, i'm proud of her when she learns something new, and i love, love, love cuddling with her. she makes me happy.

4. i have a husband (and a dog!) that can't sit still, which is probably why we're so good together. if we have a day off, we're off to the lake, on a hike, golfing, biking or playing tennis. he also hates shopping. i think he's been a good influence on my fitness level and my spending habits.

5. i have nervous breakdowns when things are messy or out of place -- not so good when you live with a man and a dog. when they first arrived in oregon in february, i was constantly stressed out about my messy car for WEEKS! i still hate that there is dog hair, dirt and dust everywhere in my car... but i try not to get upset about it.

6. i have visited 9 countries and lived for a period of time in 2 of them (france for 13 months and new zealand for nearly 4 years). next up: chile and peru in 2011 (see? another goal.).

7. my husband and i had a fairy tale start to our relationship. we met in france where we lived at an abbey, and on our first date we kissed in front of a castle. we both cried at the paris airport when we had to leave each other because, at the time, we didn't know when we'd see each other again. and then he missed me so much, he asked me to move to new zealand to be with him -- and it took me about 1/2 a day to decide to go. that's just how i roll.

8. if my checkbook isn't up-to-date down to the penny at any given point, i feel unsettled! weird but true. i like knowing exactly how much money i have.

9. chad and i are one of those fancy couples that own property overseas -- we have a house in new zealand. not because we necessarily want to, though. we tried to sell it last year and couldn't, so we put tenants in it. we'll put it back on the market late this year. better luck this time.

10. ice cream and espresso are two of my favorite things. put them together in a milkshake and i'm one happy girl.

thanksgiving day in june

i'm feeling a bit negative today, complaining about work on a monday when i need to just be thankful that i have a job in the first place - and a great job at that!

so, i'm deferring to an earlier blog post (here) that was meant to remind me that "every day is a good day." in honor of that, i'm going to try to post something every day that i'm thankful for.

day one:

i am thankful for my job, especially at a time when so many others do not have jobs. yes, some days are frustrating, but the bottom line is that i'm well compensated, i work with a great team, and i look out at a vineyard for goodness sakes!

life is good.

goals before 30

in three days, i'll turn 29, which means there is still a lot to do before i hit the new decade.

i can't say that 28 has been bad, that is for sure. the last year brought a lot of changes. in fact, it was my last birthday which saw chad flying back to nz (not the best of birthday presents, but hey...). the fact that we got married, he and fife are now in oregon, and he is working as viticulturist is pretty fantastic!

so, with that, here are some things i want to accomplish within the next 368 days:

1) run the cascade lakes relay and the portland marathon (training in progress)

2) sell the house in nz; explore options for buying here in the valley

3) start a 401k (i.e. finally be a responsible adult) - plus some other financial goals

4) buy a nikon d90, keep reading photography books and blogs, and see if we can't create some acceptable images!

5) go to nz for dane and julia's wedding and christmas with the douglas clan

6) book trip to chile and peru (even if the actual travel doesn't happen until after my 30th birthday)

so, now that this is all out in public, i'll be held accountable!

the abbey brewery

chad asked me the other day what i wanted for my birthday and i said that this might be a good opportunity to get the abbey (home) brewery going (because, really, what girl doesn't want a bunch of buckets, hoses and a carboy for her birthday?). i started reading the complete joy of homebrewing last night to get myself psyched up. i bought that book a couple of months ago, but since we didn't have any equipment yet, i hadn't done anything with it. this could yield some interesting results...

we joke that we're going to call it the abbey brewery since we met at an abbey. this would make a nice label, would it not?

i have some pretty incredible friends

people truly amaze me. while sometimes - i'm being honest here - they can be annoying, rude, and just generally drive me crazy, there are many, many people in this world that truly inspire me - my friends.

let's start with my friends from college - yes, all of them are beautiful, smart, driven and doing amazing things in life. but i specifically want to mention dr. jamie sage (dr. wachtor before she got married last year). she and i did our undergrad together at ferris and then she went on to become a dentist and today graduated (again!) this time with her degree in orthodontics. she has been in college for eleven years - ELEVEN YEARS! she is one smart cookie and i'm so excited and proud to know that she has accomplished something so great.

then there's my friend lindy, who is moving to mexico in a week where her husband is going to work with the state department. if i had one regret in my life (and i don't really believe in regrets because it was always what we wanted at the time), it would be that i left the opportunity to work at the u.s. embassy in bangkok in 2003 and never again got to follow my dream of being in international relations or diplomacy. i will be living vicariously through lindy and travis. i am so excited for them (and very excited that they will have a guest room, a pool, and a 30 minute drive to the beach!). vacation anyone?

while we're on the academia topic, let's also mention my friend carolyn who started her phd in economics last year. let's also mention that she just spent several years living in france working for one of the biggest french banks. currently, she is going to school, practically living at the library, and planning a wedding at the same time.

there are so many more people i could mention, but then this post would be a hundred pages long.

it is truly amazing to have met so many wonderful, smart, driven people in my short years on this earth. i love the power of social media and that it allows me to follow them, vicariously, in their exciting life adventures. i only wish we were all closer so i could see them more than once every 3, or 5, or 7 years or so.

on the road again... i start running again on saturday!

for those of you that don't know, i have signed up again for team in training, this time to do the portland marathon (yes, the full 26.2 miles - i must be insane). i am doing it for a reason bigger than myself - to raise money for the leukemia and lymphoma society to help people like our honored teammates emily, karin, mark and caleb. caleb was diagnosed with burkitts lymphoma in july 2007 at age 9. thankfully, it is in remission, but not without him having to go through chemo and all the awful things that come along with it. unfortunately, 7 months after he was diagnosed, his mother was diagnosed with cancer. nine months after that, her mother was diagnosed with cancer. what a horrible thing - i just can't imagine.

i bet you didn't know that blood cancers are the leading cause of death of children in america. the leukemia and lymphoma society (LLS) gives $1 million a week to fund blood cancer research. in fact, they funded the research of a doctor at OHSU who created the drug Gleevac. people who were previously told they weren't going to live very long are now able to take a little orange pill. this one little orange pill targets the bad cells as compared to chemo which can't tell the difference between good cells and bad cells. that all happened right here in Oregon.

there are 11 support groups for people with blood cancers in the portland area, including a group for young adults and another for spanish speakers. funds from LLS support these groups.

LLS also has a co-pay assistance program, which means a patient can get up to $10,000 from LLS to help pay their medical bills. LLS can contributed $15 million per annum to this program.

they have a program called first connection which pairs up cancer surviors with newly diagnosed patients for information and support.

finally, LLS is involved in advocacy. because of their efforts, health insurance in Oregon now has to cover your standard care if you participate in a medical trial. previously, insurance companies wouldn't cover medical trials.

and so, for all of these reasons, i am running a marathon on 10/10/10. i would appreciate your support by tax-deducible monetary donation at my fundraising website. my goal is to raise a minimum of $1,250 and my friend kim has gotten the ball rolling with the first $50 donation. $1200 to go!!! please help me help LLS.

every day is a good day

today was team in training saturday run, week 3. we did 6 miles (48.17) in the quaint little area around ne 33rd near grant track. i had the pleasure of running with a gentleman named bob jordan, who lost his 5 1/2 year old daughter to leukemia about 13 years ago.

before our run, bob and his wife spoke about the moment they took their daughter to the doctor, presumably for a cold, and heard her diagnosis. they talked about the hospital visits, the chemo, the cute little things their daughter did that they have burned into their memories.

for example, i learned that bob has done 33 marathons and 13 (?) ironman triathlons. one of his major goals was to qualify for the hawaii ironman. apparently they have a lottery system, so bob was going that route to get in. around the time of his birthday, he applied. his daughter wanted to get him a present and knew that the only thing he wanted at the time (aside from her getting better, of course) was to qualify. so, with the help of bob's wife, little emily drafted a letter explaining that she was in the hospital and why, and that she wanted to give her dad the one thing he wanted most - a spot in the hawaii ironman. what committee can resist that? bob obviously got a spot in the 1997 event. however, little emily went into a coma and died 4 days later. this was six months out from the event, so he poured his heart into his training and was actually featured on cbs news with this wonderful human interest story. what a great gift from his late daughter.

(read the story on the ironman website here)

but i must say that for all bob has been through, he is the most positive man i have ever met. you know what he said to me today?

"since we last saw emily and last walked out of that hospital, i have vowed that every day is going to be a good day. i can't have another bad day, because i know what a bad day is really like."

i think that is an incredibly amazing perspective and goes along with the first post that i put on my blog - start really living, we're really dying. we are not on this earth for very long. the things that we think are worth getting all bent out of shape about really aren't worth getting bent out of shape at all. who cares about traffic jams, financial issues, having to get up for work on a monday morning, not having anything to wear... whatever it is, it doesn't matter.

what matters is that we are healthy, we have a support system of friends and family, we have jobs, we have a roof over our heads and food in our fridge. we have a lot of things that many, many people in life simply don't have.

my goal for my life is to live like bob -
every day is a good day.

start living... we are really dying

the church I attend started a 5 week series the other day about "really living." what would you do if you had 6 months left to live? tim mcgraw's song "live like you were dying" was played and i couldn't believe what a great gift i had been given that day - to be reminded that we are not here forever. take advantage of the time god has given you - seize the day, carpe diem and all that. i think we all know in the back of our minds that we should "just do it" instead of "putting it off until someday," but we all get caught up in our daily lives and simply forget. before we know it, "someday" turns into "6 months left to live." so, i am reminded - stop waiting for "someday" and make things happen.

i have to admit that i really enjoy my life right now. like everyone, that feeling sometimes slips away (think "i hate monday mornings!" and "why don't i have more money?" and "i wish i had more vacation time."). i am definitely very guilty of that.

but isn't it great to know that you have a bed to get out of on Monday mornings, that you have a roof over your head, running water, food... that you even have a job to go to when so many others don't right now?

isn't it great to know that you have two legs that work, that you even have the physical ability to go to the gym and work out? isn't is great to know that you are healthy. that your car, however crappy you think it might be, was not in the car accident that i witnessed on i-5 a few days ago? that you made it home safely from work, the gym, the grocery store... to tuck yourself into your comfortable bed?

isn't it great to know that we have loved ones in our lives who will be there for us in case something unthinkable ever did happen to us?

i, for one, am very thankful. i'm so glad that i have the opportunity to run a half marathon, that i have fantasic friends and a supportive and loving family, that i have a great job that i truly enjoy... and if i ever start complaining, i give you all permission to smack me upside the head and bring me to my senses.

to close, i'll leave you with the chorus in tim mcgraw's song, live like you were dying, and my bucket list (at least for the next five years):

i went skydiving,
i went rocky mountain climbing,
i went two point seven seconds on a bull named fu man chu,
and i loved deeper,
and i spoke sweeter,
and i gave forgiveness i'd been denyin'

and he said, someday i hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying


my bucket list
- run a half marathon, a marathon, an olympic duathlon, and the hood to coast relay at least once
- buy a dslr camera and learn how to use it (instead of sitting back and coveting beautiful photography, why not do it myself?)
- finally take a cheese-making course (or 10)
- buy an around the world ticket and travel for weeks, if not months, to south america, eastern europe, central america and maybe asia if there's time... hike macchu picchu... walk on the great wall of china
- roadtrip across the united states with my mom and sister
- ride in a hot air balloon and a helicopter with my husband
- climb at least one mountain - even mt. hood would be awesome
- go bungee jumping, and not the woosie 40 meter one either
- hike and camp non-stop with my husband and our dog, because when it comes down to it, sharing nature with my favorite people truly makes me happiest
- and what the heck - go skydiving again, but this time from the highest elevation possible